Forgetting where you came from

Successful people are often accused of forgetting where they come from. This is true of economic, social or spiritual success. Success simply means that you are a happy person, living the life that you chose to lead. This all the more true for African Americans and Afro-West Indians, because of the small community it is all the more apparent to the people that surround them that they have attained some degree of success. I always marveled at this phenomenon and strive to keep connected to the community that surrounds me, lest I be accused of “forgetting whey I come from”.


I always thought that this was more of a physical phenomenon, where you move out of your old neighborhood and you don’t come back home to go to the barbershop or the fish fry. My experience has revealed that it is not so much the physical presence that disappears but the state of mind. In other words your personal experience has a permanent effect on your psyche thereby changing your perspective forever.

One of the most indelible examples of this is Clarence Thomas. I do not wish to stand as judge and jury so I will only speak to what he is accused of, but here is one of the most successful African American Jurist in the history of the nation denying the need for affirmative action. We won’t debate the merits of affirmative action but it is obvious that Justice Thomas stands accused of “Forgetting where he came from”. He no longer has the perspective of that young black man that feels that the deck is stacked against him. He has enjoyed the respect that education and success brings and his perspective is changed forever.

Many of us are guilty of this and the reason is that economics and social stratification in America create varying viewpoints to the same scenario. There are social rules and customs that correlate to your social and economic strata that let others know “where you fit in”.

The “givens” in one sector of the society are useless in another. For example, no one makes reservations for local restaurants but to get in to the restaurants that cater to tourist s, you have to, this may come off as annoying and even racist or classist to a local, who has never dined there before. Everybody knows that we like to “suck our teeth” or “schupps”. Continentals often adapt this trait after being here for a short time, but why do you “schupps”? We don’t schupps when the cafeteria runs out of salad, we schupps when they run out a Roast Pork or Rice and beans! Crucians have a limited attachment to salads and a love affair with rice and beans!. This is a social more that we take for granted because “everybody know dat!”

This is true in the employment process as well as on the job. As managers we feel that the ability to articulate what type of career goals that you have and create a resume and a cover letter that gives a lasting first impression of you is something you should know is required. But how would you learn that? Where are our young people learning the social mores of work and the workplace?

I grew up in an office so my natural inclination would be to say that “everybody knows how to answer a phone”. It is natural to me, it is something that I have observed thousands of time growing up. In today’s society, it is not so natural and you have to teach adults rudimentary office etiquette because they have not been practiced in these skills. These are assumptions we can no longer make.

We run into trouble when we make assumptions and “forget from whence we came”. It is very important that we assess the skills of the average employee that we are seeing and then make plans to bring them to the level of expectation that we have set. Traditionally we have made accommodation and lowered the expectation to that of the average, which has often perpetuated mediocre products and services.

Everyone is born equal but into unequal circumstances. From the minute you are born those inequalities take shape in the form of success or failure. We must remember this and help to elevate our community as a whole by explaining and teaching the mores of success. We must remember that we too had to learn many of these rules along the way and mastering them opened the doors to success. Keep in mind that a lot of times we were resistant to new rules and ideas and sometimes we kicked and screamed along the way, we must be patient. It is important that we visit the old neighborhood and hang out at the fish fry but it is more important that we remember that society and success twists your perspective and we must stay flexible so we can never forget what the view is from the other side.